They never get old (maybe 'cuz I'm not a blonde!)

BLOND JOKES
(But please don't be offended)

Once upon a time there was a blonde with long hair, blue eyes,and she was sick of all the blonde jokes. One day, she decided to get a make over, so she cut and dyed her hair. She also went out and bought a new convertible. She went driving down a country road and came across a herd of sheep. She stopped and called the sheepherder over. "That's a nice flock of sheep.", she said. "Well thank you.", said the herder. "Tell you what. I have a proposition for you.", said the woman. "Okay.", replied the herder. "If I can guess the exact number of sheep in your flock, can I take one home?", asked the woman. "Sure.", said the sheepherder. So, the girl sat up and looked at the herd for a second and then replied, "382". "Wow.", said the herder. "That is exactly right. Go ahead and pick out the sheep you want to take home." So the woman went and picked one out and put it in her car. Upon watching this, the herder approached the woman and offered, "Okay, now I have a proposition for you". "What is it?", queried the woman. "If I can guess the real color of your hair... can I have my dog back?

Three blond men are stranded on one side of a wide river, and don't know
how to get across.  The first man prays to God to make him smart enough to figure out how to cross the river, so God turns him into a brown-haired man and he swims across.  The second man prays to God to
make him even smarter, so God turns him into a dark-haired man and he
builds a boat and rows across.  Then the third man prays to God to make
him the smartest of all, so God turns him into a woman and she walks
across the bridge.

A blonde is terribly overweight, so her doctor put her on a diet.  "I want you
to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2
weeks.  The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least 5 pounds."
When the blonde returned, she shocked the doctor by losing nearly 20 pounds.
"Why, that's amazing!"  the doctor said, " Did you follow my instructions?"
The blonde nodded... "I'll tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead
that third day."
"From hunger, you mean?" asked the doctor.
"No, from skipping

Three women are about to be executed. One's a brunette, one's redhead, and one's a blonde. The guard brings the brunette forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no and the executioner shouts, "Ready!...Aim!! ..."r Suddenly the brunette yells, "EARTHQUAKE!!!" Everyone is startled and looks around. She escapes. The guard brings the redhead forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She say no and the executioner shouts "Ready! ... Aim!!..." Suddenly the redhead yells, "TORNADO!!!" Everyone is startled and looks around. She escapes. By now the blonde has it all figured out. The guard brings her forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no. So the executionar yells "Ready...Aim..." then the blonde yells "FIRE!!!"

Two blondes are walking down the street.  One notices a compact on the sidewalk
and leans down to pick it up.  She opens it, looks in the mirror and says, "Hmm,
this person looks familiar."  The second blonde says, "Here, let me see!" So the
first blonde hands her the compact. The second one looks in mirror and says,
"You idiot, it's me!"  HEHE

A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She proudly says,
"Go ahead, ask me, I know all of them." A friend says, "O.K., what's the capital
of Wisconsin?"  The blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy, W."

A blonde goes into work one morning, crying her eyes out. Her boss, concerned
about all his employees' well-being, asked sympathetically, "What's the matter?"
The blonde replied, "Early this morning I got a phone call informing me that my
mother had passed away." Feeling very sorry for her, the boss tells her, "Why
don't you go home for the day; we aren't terribly busy so just take the rest of
the day off to rest and relax."  The blonde, calmly states, "No, I'd be better
off here.  I need to keep my mind off it and I have a better chance of doing
that here."  The boss agrees with her and allows her to work as usual."  If you
need anything, just let me know, " he adds. A few hours pass and the boss
decides to check on the blonde. He looks out over his office and sees the blonde
crying hysterically. He rushes over to her and asks, "What's so bad now?  Are
you gonna be okay?" "No," she replies, "I just received a horrible call from my
sister who told me her mother also died

    A blond woman walks into a store. Curious about a shiny object, asks, "What is that?" The store clerk responds, "It's a thermos." The blond then asks, "What does it do?" The clerk says "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold." So she buys one.The next day, she brings it to work with her. Her boss, also a blond, asks, "What is that shiny object?" She replies "It's a thermos." He asks, "What does it do?" She says, "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold." He then asks, "What do you have in there?" "Two cups of coffee and a Popsicle."