Things You Would Never Know Without the Movies.

-It is always possible to park directly outside any building you are visiting.

-A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.

-If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.

-Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization

-It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.

-When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head, they will never suffer a concussion or brain damage.

-No one involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock.

-Police Departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.

-When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.

-You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.

-Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds, unless it's the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.

-An electric fence, powerful enough to kill a dinosaur will cause no lasting damage to an eight year old child.

-Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment you turn the television on.

Only in America!

  Only in America...  can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance...

  Only in America...  are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink...

  Only in America..  do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to
get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

  Only in America...  do people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

  Only in America...  do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

  Only in America...  do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our
useless junk in the garage.

  Only in America...  do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so
we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first
place.

  Only in America...do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

  Only in America..do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering

  Only in America...can a homeless combat veteran live in a cardboard box and a draft dodger
live in the White House!

    Only in America...do we use the word "politics" to describe the process so well:
  "Poli" in Latin meaning "many" and "tics" "meaning bloodsucking creatures."

Points to Ponder...

• If you throw a cat out a car window, does it become kitty litter?

• If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?

• When a cow laughs does milk come up its nose?

• How did a fool and his money GET together?

• How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign?

• If its tourist season, why can't we shoot them?

• What's another word for thesaurus?

• Why do they use sterilized needles for lethal injection?

• Why is abbreviation such a long word?

• How do you know when its time to tune your bagpipes?

• Do blind Eskimos have seeing eye sled dogs?

• Why is there an expiration date on my sour cream container?

• What do they use to ship Styrofoam?

• Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one?

• Why do drive up ATMs have Braille keys?

• Do feet dream when they're asleep?

• What color does a smurf turn when she/he is choking?

• If you tie a piece of buttered toast to the back of a cat and drop them from your porch, what side would it land on?

• You know the little indestructible boxes that are underneath your airplane seat? Why can't they make the whole plane like that?

• If seven-eleven is open 24 hours a day 365 days a year (or 366) why are there locks on the door?

• What happens when you are scared half to death twice?

• How do you know when you run out of invisible ink?

• If Barbie is so poplar, than way do you have to buy her friends?

• Wear short sleeves, support your right to bear arms!!!

• What color does a smuf change when you choke it?

• I use to have an open mind, but my brains fell out!!!

• I tried to think but nothing happen!

• Shin: Used to locate stuff in the dark

• For Sale: Parachute. Used only once, never opened, small stain.