50 Things to do at Walmart
1. Take shopping
carts for the express purpose of filling them
and stranding them at strategic locations.
2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.
3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals
throughout the day.
4. Start playing Calvin ball; see how many people you can get
to join in.
5. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the
spray air fresheners.
6. Challenge other customers to deuls with tubes of gift wrap.
7. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.
8. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.
9. When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW,
especially down thin narrow aisles.
10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone,
"I think we've got a code 3 in Housewares," and see what
happens.
11. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them
all off and turn the volume up to 10!
12. Play with the automatic doors.
13. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't
seen you in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to
avoid embarrasment.
14. While walking through the clothing department, ask
yourself loud enough for all to hear,"Who BUYS
this crap anyway?"
15. Repeat number 14 in the jewelry department.
16. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you're
taking it for a test drive.
17. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about 5
feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the
department.
18. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire
store as your playing field.
19. As the cashier runs your purchase over the scanner,
look mesmorized and say, "Wow,Magic!"
20. Put M&M's on layaway.
21. Move "Caution: Wet FLoor" signs to carpeted areas.
22. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others
you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows form
bed and bath.
23. Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch"
from the other aisles.
24. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Puopon.
25. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around
saying , "...I'm Batman. Come, Robin- -to the Batcave!"
26. TP as much of the store as possible.
27. Randomly throw things into the neighboring aisles.
28. Play with the calculators so that they spell "hello"
upside down.
29. When some one asks you if you need help, begin to cry
and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"
30. When two or three people are walking ahead of you,
run between them, yelling, "Red Rover!"
31. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hire employees
if there are any in stock, i.e., "Do you have any
Shnerples here?"
32. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full
scale battlefield with G.I. Joe vs. the X-Men.
33. Take bets on the battle described above.
34. Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.
35. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly
ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants
are. Act as spastic as possible.
36. Hold indoor shopping cart races.
37. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from
"Mission: Impossible"
38. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.
39. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.
40. Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me
to your Twinkies?"
41. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.
42. Two words: "Marco Polo."
43. Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet
food aisle, etc.
44. "Re-alphebetize" the CD's in electronics.
45. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look
with various funnels.
46. When some one steps away from their cart to look at
something, quickly make off with it wiithout saying a word.
47. Relax in the pation furniture until you get kicked out.
48. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker,
assume the fetal position and scream,"No,no! It's
those voices again!"
49. Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time.
50. Drag a lounge chair over to the magazines and relax.
If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; ask
if they can put a little umbrella in it.
Here is another version of that:
Things to do @ Wal-Mart while
your spouse or significant other is taking his/her sweet time!
1. Get boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's
carts when they don't realize it.
2. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute
intervals throughout the day.
3. Make a trail of Mountain Dew on the floor, leading to the restrooms.
4.Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a
Code 3 in housewares," and see
what happens.
5.Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn the
volumes to "10."
6.Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.
7. Put M&M's on layaway.
8. Move "Caution: Wet Floor"
signs to carpeted areas.
9.Set up a tent in the camping department; tell
others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and
Bath.
10.When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why
won't
you people just leave me alone?"
11.Look right into the security camera,
and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.
12.Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes
vs.
the X-Men.
13.Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
14.While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he
knows where the anti-depressants are.
15.Switch the men's and women's
signs on the doors of the restrooms.
16.Dart around suspiciously while
humming the theme from "Mission Impossible."
17.Set up a "Valet Parking"
sign in front of the store.
18.In the auto department, practice your
"Madonna" look with various funnels.
19.Hide in the clothing racks and
when people browse through, say things like "pick me! pick me!!"
20.When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position
and scream, "No, no! It's those voices again!"
21.If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out
much, and ask
if
they can put a little umbrella in it.
22.Go into one of the fitting rooms
and yell real loud..."Hey, we're out of toilet paper in here!"